What's the most important thing in any relationship??? If you had asked me this anytime before Sunday evening I would have said something like trust, honesty and/or chemistry. Those are pretty good answers but the truth is you can have all the trust, honesty and Chemistry in the world and still have a relationship go sour just because of no communication. What's the point of having honesty and trust or anything else for that matter if you don't have communication between all parties?
It took about 3 weeks for me to really realize how important communication is. It left me asking myself "Does it really matter who won or who lost in an argument if at the end the relationship is the one that was really hurt?" I swore to myself that I had a legit point to not call and not text but the one thing I forgot to do was relay my feelings. All this time had passed by and instead of communicating my feeling I just sat and got frustrated as to why this lady wouldn't give me a call. All I wanted was a simple call but I failed to express my feelings towards her. So regardless if she knew I wanted her to call or not, I didn't say anything towards her and when I wanted to, it was already to late and her last words to me were "Forget it, just ignore my question".
"GREAT"
That's the only thing I could say to myself. What did I prove? Now this relationship is done (you know it's serious when somebody deletes you from Facebook and Twitter). Thing that sucks is that we have so much chemistry together its SICK!!!! But without communication, chemistry, honesty, trust and anything else never stood a chance. Instead of telling her my feelings and talking about it now I'm stuck wondering if I'll ever hear from her again. Don't get me wrong, this is in no way an admission of guilt, but just realizing that I could have handled this whole thing much better.
Communication!!! It's so underrated and definitely overlooked. It is so important and so easy to do and yet I'm willing to bet it's not done enough. Especially verbally. How many of us are guilty of texting and communicating through Social networks then face to face or on the phone? I know I can't be the only one. I told myself as of Monday, August 1st that I will make it a priority to make sure my feelings and thoughts are always communicated so that I do not travel down this road again and wonder to myself why didn't I do things differently.
Thanks for reading and by all means let me know what you think. I'll be back to edit and add to this periodically so feel free to give me feedback.
You are right about communication, you have to express your intentions to and what you expect in return from women. For example, I am going to buy a hot dog from you, I will pay you a fee for that hot dog, in return I expect to eat a delicious hot dog. Between two people, especially between a man and a women, a person cannot rely on magnetic brain communication, some of us have not evolved to that point yet. "Hay, I like you, I am serious, call me! Hope she calls!"
ReplyDeleteWith all of the text and bbm's nowadays things get read differently..sarcasm, replying to slow, NOT replying or annoyance. I agree that a simple call clears the air. Make a call and if you get voicemail leave a message..you never know if that person will be around the day of tomorrow but at least you reached out.
ReplyDeletePeople are so quick to think they know what someone else is going to say that they make decisions for both people without having any feedback from the person they are making the decision for. It’s simultaneously hilarious and pathetic. Effective communication is by far the most important element in everyday life, and in every situation we find ourselves in. What concerns me most is not that there is a lack of communication, but lack of effective communication. I agree that social networking and text messaging is part of the reason, but the fact that people think the other "should know" what they mean or vice versa and to top it off don't necessarily say what they mean and/or mean what they say is exceedingly counter productive. This leads to frustration setting in and then communication goes from bad to worse. Well thought out communication and clarifying our intent when necessary is so very important. Concise expression of our meanings/points/feelings must be conveyed in an efficiently proficient manner. Lastly and most importantly communication should always have the foundation of Love…
ReplyDeletealmost forgot, thank you for reading and the comments... all your comments bring more to the piece. Thanks again!
ReplyDelete